Posted by
DestinyBender on Thursday, August 02, 2007 3:20:00 PM
In its never-ending quest to find new and creative ways to insult and disparage the Bush/Cheney Administration, the Denver Post has plumbed new depths with “Vick and Dick” (7/29/07). Imagine the Post Editorial Editors salivating when comic strip writer, Andrew Feinstein submitted his timely and insightful missive “What the Falcons QB may have in common with America’s VP.” In an obvious effort to ‘elevate’ the political discourse, the Post has published, what could possibly be, its most far-fetched and insipid diatribe yet.
According to Feinstein, quarterback Michael Vick is alleged to be involved in dog fighting, therefore the Vice President of the United States of America, former Secretary of Defense, former Presidential Chief-of-Staff, former multi-term Congressman and lifelong outdoorsman/hunter is guilty of “committing a vile act of inhumane torture against animals”. Since the surname of ‘Vick’ rhymes with the proper name of ‘Dick’, it must be true. And as they both have earned a lot of money in their professional careers, Feinstein loathes them, has judged them guilty (without the inconvenience of a trial) and advocates their immediate jailing and torture.
According to this line of reasoning; Paris Hilton was found guilty of DUI and jailed, and since Paris rhymes with Ferris and it was Ferris Bueller who faked being sick in Chicago, and since Barak Obama is from the ‘Windy City’, Obama must be faking his promise to keep America safe from International Terrorism, and therefore Obama is really as bad as Osama! More names that rhyme – Proof positive!
“Shoeless” Joe Jackson was accused of cheating and kicked out of Baseball, and since “Slow” Joe Biden confessed to plagiarism in the 2004 democrat primary, it must follow that Joe Biden should be removed from the Senate. After all, they are both named ‘Joe’ and, according to the Post and Andrew Feinstein, what more evidence is necessary?
Four Iraqi civilians were killed by “happy fire” following the Iraqi Soccer team’s victory.
And, George Bush once said he was ‘happy’ that the US and Coalition forces were ‘victorious’ over Saddam’s army. Therefore, using Denver Post logic, it is a fact that, Bush caused the victorious Iraqis to celebrate with stray gunfire and therefore, must be ‘happy’ that these innocents died. Surely, this alone constitutes grounds to file Articles of Impeachment.
Don’t ever let it be said that Andrew Feinstein and Denver Post can’t “connect the dots”.